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They call it "being helpful." They call it "just getting it done." They call it "leadership."
But here's what it actually is:
Unpaid role expansion.
And it's quietly draining people who don't even realize they've inherited a job no one gave them.
But let me not get ahead of myself…
I've noticed a pattern that nobody talks about openly.
In every team, every organization, every partnership, there's someone who becomes the fixer.
Not because they were assigned to it.
Not because they volunteered.
When you say yes to others, make sure you are not saying no to yourself.
But because they're good at noticing gaps. At smoothing friction. At catching what falls through the cracks.
And the system learned they'd step in.
So now they do. Every time. Without being asked.
What's Really Happening Here?
Some roles aren't formally assigned. They're inherited through competence.
It usually works like this:
You notice a gap others miss. You fix it. People are relieved. The system registers: this person handles things.
Next time a gap appears, eyes drift toward you. You fix it again. Now it's a pattern.
Soon, fixing isn't an occasional contribution. It's an expectation. It's your unofficial job.
And the worst part?
You start to believe it's your responsibility too.
You feel guilty when you don't step in. You feel anxious when problems sit unfixed. You feel like you're letting people down if you let something fail, even when it was never yours to own.
That's not leadership. That's an identity trap.
Avoiding Burnout Doesn’t Take Luck. It Takes a System.
Most people treat burnout like a sudden accident. In reality, it’s a slow leak. It starts with small lapses in concentration, a "heavy" feeling on Sunday nights, and a dwindling sense of accomplishment.
The Burnout Signal Navigator gives you the "dashboard" your brain is missing.
It’s a fast, intuitive way to scan your current state and see exactly where your energy is leaking. Whether you’re leading a team or managing your own output, you need to see the red flags before they turn into a full-stop.
Don’t wait for the crash to start listening.
This Matters for Your Influence
You'd think being the fixer would increase your influence. You're the one people rely on, after all.
But the opposite often happens:
You become essential but not elevated. People need you, but they don't see you as strategic. You're the safety net, not the voice at the table.
You have no time for high-value work. While you're fixing everyone else's gaps, you're not building the things that would actually grow your influence.
You train people to depend on you—not to solve their own problems. That's not influence. That's indispensability without authority.
You burn out invisibly. Because it doesn't look like overwork. It looks like "just being helpful." Until it doesn't.
Real influence isn't being the person who fixes everything.
It's being the person whose judgment shapes decisions—not whose labor absorbs dysfunction.
The 3-Part Framework for Breaking the Fixer Role
I use three moves to interrupt the automatic fixer pattern—without becoming unhelpful or checked out.
The Pause Test
The Ownership Question
The Strategic Redirect
Gif by blindspot on Giphy
Let's get it...
1. The Pause Test (Interrupt the Automatic Response)
Most fixing happens on autopilot.
You see a gap. You feel the pull. You step in before you've even decided to.
The Pause Test interrupts that reflex.
When you notice yourself moving toward a problem, stop and ask:
"Did anyone ask me to own this?"
If yes → decide intentionally whether to take it. If no → let it sit one beat longer than usual.
You're not being irresponsible. You're interrupting an automatic role.
What fails: Jumping in because "it's faster if I just do it."
What works: Giving the system a chance to find its actual owner.
2. The Ownership Question (Name What's Really Driving You)
Fixing often feels like contribution.
But sometimes it's something else:
Avoiding the discomfort of watching something fail
Protecting an identity as "the reliable one"
Fear of what people will think if you don't step in
Before you fix, ask yourself:
"What identity am I protecting by fixing this?"
If the answer is about your self-image rather than actual responsibility, that's a signal.
You're not obligated to carry things just because you're capable of carrying them.
What fails: Telling yourself "someone has to do it" without examining why that someone is always you.
What works: Recognizing when "helping" is actually "avoiding."
3. The Strategic Redirect (Create Space Without Abandoning)
You don't have to fix. But you also don't have to disappear.
The strategic redirect lets you stay engaged without absorbing the problem.
Script:
"I'm noticing this issue, but I'm not the right person to resolve it."
"This seems like something [person/team] should own. Want me to flag it for them?"
"I can point this out, but I don't have capacity to take it on."
You're still being helpful. You're just not being the default.
What fails: Silently absorbing problems because speaking up feels awkward.
What works: Naming the issue while redirecting ownership to where it belongs.
Being good at fixing things doesn't mean fixing is your job, and reclaiming that boundary is what shifts you from operationally essential to strategically influential.
LEVEL UP
AI Prompt: The Fixer Role Audit
Copy, paste, and complete this in your favorite LLM:
Act as my strategic advisor. I want to audit whether I've accidentally become "the fixer" in my work.
Here's my current role: [Describe your job/business]
Here are things I regularly handle that may not officially be mine: [List them]
Help me:
1. Identify which tasks are legitimate responsibilities vs. inherited role expansion
2. Flag patterns—am I fixing the same type of gap repeatedly? What does that signal?
3. Assess the cost—what am I not doing because I'm absorbing these?
4. Generate scripts I can use to redirect ownership without seeming unhelpful
5. Suggest how to communicate boundaries to people who've come to expect my fixing
6. Help me distinguish between strategic helping (builds influence) and reflexive fixing (drains it)POLL
When you notice a problem that isn't yours, what's your default?
CURATED ROUNDUP
What to Review This Week
Read: The Disease to Please: Curing the People-Pleasing Syndrome by Harriet
Listen: Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
Reflect: Where in your work have you inherited a role no one assigned?
Tool: The Difficult Conversation Navigator: The 100-prompt system designed to steer you through high-stakes moments with absolute confidence.
In Case You Missed It!
The Bottom Line
Being good at fixing things doesn't mean fixing is your job.
When you automatically absorb every gap, you trade strategic influence for operational indispensability. You become essential, but stuck.
Real influence comes from judgment, not labor absorption.
Pause before you step in. Ask who actually owns this. Redirect when it's not yours.
You're not being unhelpful.
You're reclaiming a role you never agreed to.
Thanks for reading. Be easy!
Girvin
P.S. Hit reply and tell me, what's one thing you're fixing that you never actually agreed to own?
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