In partnership with
You're not imagining it.
That person who interrupts you in meetings but lets everyone else finish. Who questions your ideas but accepts the same ideas from others. Who's charming to the room but dismissive to you.
You've noticed the pattern. And you've started to wonder if you're the problem.
You're not.
But here's what is happening: your influence is being deliberately eroded. And the longer it goes unaddressed, the smaller your voice becomes.
Gaslighting is implanted narratives cloaked in secrecy.
Strategic bullies don't just make your work life unpleasant.
They shrink your ability to be heard, trusted, and followed.
That's not a side effect.
That's the goal.
Turn AI into Your Income Engine
Ready to transform artificial intelligence from a buzzword into your personal revenue generator?
HubSpot’s groundbreaking guide "200+ AI-Powered Income Ideas" is your gateway to financial innovation in the digital age.
Inside you'll discover:
A curated collection of 200+ profitable opportunities spanning content creation, e-commerce, gaming, and emerging digital markets—each vetted for real-world potential
Step-by-step implementation guides designed for beginners, making AI accessible regardless of your technical background
Cutting-edge strategies aligned with current market trends, ensuring your ventures stay ahead of the curve
Download your guide today and unlock a future where artificial intelligence powers your success. Your next income stream is waiting.
When you realize you're being targeted, the instinct is to confront them or report them.
But strategic bullies are ready for that.
They've built credibility with others.
They stay calm while you look emotional.
They express surprise and concern: "I had no idea you felt that way."
And now you're the one who "made it weird." Your influence takes another hit.
The first step isn't confrontation. It's rebuilding your foundation so your response comes from strength, not desperation.
The RECLAIM Framework
Here's how to take back your influence:
R — Record what's happening
E — Expose yourself to more people
C — Control your reactions
L — Locate strategic allies
A — Assess the pattern
I — Influence from clarity
M — Maintain your presence
Gif by snl on Giphy
Let’s get it…
R — Record what's happening
Start documenting. Date. What happened. Who was present. Keep it factual, not emotional.
You're not building a legal case (yet). You're anchoring your own perception. When you can see the pattern in writing, you stop questioning whether it's real.
E — Expose yourself to more people
Strategic bullies thrive on isolation. Counter it by becoming more visible.
Build relationships across the organization. Let more people see your work directly.
Create witnesses, not by complaining, but by having more people aware of your contributions.
The more visible you are, the harder it is for one person to control the narrative about you.
C — Control your reactions
They're looking for your frustration, your defensiveness, your visible distress.
That's feedback that tells them it's working.
Practice neutrality. Not because your emotions aren't valid; feel them fully later with people you trust.
But because in the moment, a flat, unreadable response takes away their power.
L — Locate strategic allies
You don't need everyone to see it. You need two or three people you trust.
Find people with organizational standing who can be a sounding board.
Not to vent constantly. To have witnesses who know what you're navigating and can observe with fresh eyes.
A — Assess the pattern
As you document, patterns emerge. Does it happen when you're alone? After your successes? In certain settings?
The pattern reveals their strategy and where you have more control than you think.
I — Influence from clarity
Once you have documentation, allies, and pattern recognition, you choose your response:
Maybe you confront directly, now with preparation and evidence.
Maybe you escalate with specifics.
Maybe you manage around them while building your position.
Maybe you leave on your terms.
The point: you're acting from clarity, not reacting from doubt.
M — Maintain your presence
The goal isn't just to survive this person. It's to protect and rebuild your influence.
Keep contributing visibly. Keep building relationships. Keep showing up as the professional you are.
Don't let one person shrink you into someone smaller than you are.
When someone strategically targets only you, the isolation erodes your influence by design, so trust your perception, document the pattern, expand your visibility, and respond from clarity rather than doubt.
LEVEL UP
AI Prompt: The Influence Protection Assessment
Copy, paste, and complete this in your favorite LLM:
I think someone is deliberately undermining me at work. Help me see clearly and plan strategically.
Here's what's been happening: [Specific incidents]
Here's how they treat others: [What you've observed]
Help me:
1. Separate facts from interpretations
2. Identify the pattern and what it reveals
3. Assess how this is affecting my influence
4. Identify what I can control
5. Plan how to expand my visibility and build allies
6. Decide my best strategic responsePOLL
When Someone Treats You Differently Than Others, What's Your First Response?
CURATED ROUNDUP
What to Review This Week
Read: The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker
Tool: The Difficult Conversation Navigator by HSE (30% off this week only with code EY2025)
In Case You Missed It!
The Bottom Line
When someone strategically undermines only you, they're not just being difficult. They're stealing your influence through isolation and self-doubt.
Stop giving them that.
Trust your perception. Document the pattern. Expand your visibility. Build allies. Then respond from strength.
You're not imagining it. And your influence is worth protecting.
Thanks for reading. Be easy!
Girvin
Your expertise gets you into the room. But your ability to connect without a script is what keeps you there. When you freeze, you don't just lose a conversation—you lose authority.
The Impromptu Communications Navigator is a complete toolkit for navigating the unscripted moments that define your career. Stop freezing. Start connecting.
What did you think of today's newsletter?
