When Did Success Stop Being About Character?

In partnership with

I've noticed something troubling in how influence and success are being discussed lately.

Folks talking about "optimizing" their influence. Building strategic relationships. Learning advanced persuasion techniques to get what they want.

Success gets measured by revenue growth and deal size. Influence gets measured by network connections and board invitations. Leadership frameworks emphasize persuasion techniques and relationship-building strategies.

And honestly?

None of this is wrong. These things matter.

But I'm worried we're missing a crucial piece of the puzzle: the key role of character.

Don't get me wrong, I get why tactics and metrics matter. They're concrete. They drive results. They help you measure progress and optimize performance.

But I've watched enough careers to know this: The people with real, lasting influence aren't just the ones with the best strategies or biggest paychecks.

They're the ones who combine smart tactics with character.

• They keep their word when it's inconvenient.

• They tell you the truth even when it stings.

• They treat the receptionist the same way they treat the CEO.

• They own their mistakes instead of playing the blame game.

This isn't me being nostalgic for "the good old days." This is a practical reality and a foundational truth.

Character isn't just nice to have. It's essential for real influence.

Why Character Actually Fuels Influence

Three things I've noticed about people with strong character:

• You can predict them: Their behavior stays consistent whether they're talking to their boss or the parking lot attendant. That predictability creates trust.

• You feel safe around them: You know they won't throw you under the bus for their own gain. That safety creates loyalty.

• They make you want to be better: Being around them raises your own standards. That inspiration creates genuine followership.

When someone possesses genuine character, it helps enhance their influence over time.

People start seeking their advice. Trusting their judgment. Referring opportunities to them. Defending them when they're not around.

You can't fake this kind of influence. You can't manufacture it with tactics alone.

You have to earn it by consistently being the kind of person others respect.

The CORE Framework: How Character Actually Works

I've been thinking about what character looks like in practice, and I think it comes down to four key things:

C - Consistency in All Interactions
O - Ownership of Mistakes and Outcomes
R - Respect for Every Person
E - Ethical Standards in All Decisions

C - Consistency in All Interactions

Be the same person whether you're talking to the CEO or the cleaning crew. Your standards don't change based on who might benefit you.

In practice:

• Give the same level of attention to everyone, regardless of their title.

• Keep small promises just as carefully as big ones.

• Speak about people the same way whether they're there or not.

• Don't change your values based on the situation.

What doesn't work: Being charming to people who can help you while ignoring everyone else.

What works: "I try to treat everyone with the same respect, period."

O - Ownership of Mistakes and Outcomes

When something goes sideways, your first instinct should be to figure out your part in it, not to find someone else to blame.

In practice:

• Say "I was wrong" quickly and completely when you mess up.

• Take responsibility for your team's failures: "That's on me as the leader."

• Learn out loud from your mistakes: "Here's what I learned from screwing this up."

• Give credit generously when things go well.

What doesn't work: "That failed because of factors outside my control."

What works: "I miscalculated this. Let me figure out how to fix it."

R - Respect for Every Person

Genuinely care about people's dignity and time, whether they're the intern or the board chair.

In practice:

• Really listen when people talk, even if the topic isn't important to you.

• Remember personal details about people at every level.

• Help others succeed without expecting anything back.

• Stick up for people when they're not there to defend themselves.

What doesn't work: Being friendly only to people who might be useful.

What works: "I want to add value to everyone I interact with."

E - Ethical Standards in All Decisions

Make decisions based on what's right, even when it costs you something.

In practice:

• Tell people hard truths they need to hear, even clients.

• Walk away from opportunities that compromise your values.

• Keep confidences even when sharing them would help you.

• Choose long-term trust over short-term wins.

What doesn't work: "I'll bend my rules just this once because the stakes are high."

What works: "I can't do that because it goes against my principles, but here's what I can do."

POLL

In Case You Missed It!

• Grab your Pocket Guide to Impromptu Conversations
  (Essential questions and cues to connect quickly—without sounding rehearsed)

• Get early access to 12 Shifts That Make You Instantly More Persuasive 

• Someone at work is playing games with you

• Transform small talk into deeper connections with proven conversation strategies

The Bottom Line

I get why we've all gravitated toward tactics and metrics. They feel like things we can actually control and they show results fast.

But here's what I've learned from watching this play out: the influence that actually lasts comes from combining smart strategies with being someone people genuinely respect.

Everyone's reading the same business books and using the same frameworks now.

Your character is what makes people choose to work with you instead of the next person with identical tactics.

Thanks for reading. Be easy!
Girvin