Someone at Work Is Playing Games with You

Have you ever had the feeling or realization that…

Someone's sabotaging you at work

But you can't prove it.

They miss deadlines with perfect excuses. "Forget" to include you in important emails. Show up late to meetings with sincere apologies.

And everything they do has plausible deniability.

Meanwhile, your projects suffer. Your reputation takes hits. Your stress levels skyrocket.

I've realized that passive-aggressive people seem to be everywhere at work.

It’s pretty common, but more importantly, it’s really annoying.

They're playing games while pretending they're not.

And the worst part?

Traditional management advice doesn't work.

You can't confront them directly. You can't prove malicious intent. You can't even complain to HR without looking paranoid.

But you can neutralize them.

Why This Matters Now

Remote work makes this behavior easier to hide.

Delayed responses become "technical difficulties." Missed deadlines become "communication issues." Strategic silence becomes "I was on mute."

The tools that help teams collaborate also enable subtle sabotage.

And here's the kicker: passive-aggressive people often look like good employees on paper.

They're not obviously disruptive.
They don't create dramatic scenes.
They just... don't deliver.
With perfect explanations.

Management often fails to recognize the pattern (until it's too late).

That's why you need a systematic approach.

Not to prove their intent.

But to protect your work and create accountability that makes their behavior ineffective.

Here’s the CLEAR Framework for Managing Passive-Aggressive Dynamics

CLEAR stands for:

C - Create Explicit Accountability
L - Limit Information Dependencies
E - Establish Direct Communication
A - Anticipate and Prepare
R - Respond to Impact, Not Intent

Let’s get it…

C - Create Explicit Accountability

Make expectations, deadlines, and responsibilities so clear that there's no room for "misunderstanding."

• Document all commitments with specific deadlines and deliverables

• Use shared project management tools that create visible accountability

• Send follow-up emails confirming verbal agreements

• Establish clear consequences for missed commitments

What fails: "Sarah said she'd handle the client presentation."

What works: "Sarah, confirming our conversation: you'll send the draft presentation to the team by Friday 3pm for Monday's client meeting."

L - Limit Information Dependencies

Reduce your reliance on the passive-aggressive person for critical information or resources.

• Create multiple information sources for important data

• Build direct relationships with key stakeholders they might gatekeep

• Document and share important information broadly

• Develop backup plans that don't depend on their cooperation

What fails: "I need Sarah to get me those client requirements."

What works: "I'll reach out to the client directly to confirm requirements, and copy Sarah for visibility."

E - Establish Direct Communication

Force clear, direct communication that eliminates room for strategic ambiguity.

• Ask specific, direct questions that require clear answers

• Address issues immediately rather than letting them build up

• Use phrases like "Help me understand..." to force clarification

• Create structured communication channels that require participation

What fails: "Sarah, are you okay with this approach?" (allows vague response)

What works: "Sarah, I need to know specifically: will you be able to deliver the budget analysis by Tuesday, yes or no?"

A - Anticipate and Prepare

Recognize patterns in their behavior and prepare accordingly.

• Notice when they're most likely to create problems (high-pressure moments, visibility situations)

• Build extra time into projects that depend on their contributions

• Prepare alternative plans for when they don't deliver

• Document patterns to share with leadership if necessary

What fails: "I hope Sarah follows through this time."

What works: "Based on past patterns, Sarah may not deliver on Friday, so I'll prepare a backup plan."

R - Respond to Impact, Not Intent

Focus conversations on business impact rather than trying to prove malicious intent.

• Address missed deadlines and their consequences, not motivations

• Focus on team or project impact rather than personal frustration

• Use objective language about behavior and results

• Escalate based on business impact, not personality conflicts

What fails: "Sarah is deliberately sabotaging this project."

What works: "When deliverables are late, it affects our client relationship and puts the timeline at risk."

POLL

In Case You Missed It!

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• Learn the formula for doing deep work in a world of distraction.

• Transform small talk into deeper connections with proven conversation strategies

The Bottom Line

You can't fix passive-aggressive people.

But you can make their games irrelevant.

Stop trying to prove they're sabotaging you. Start building systems that make sabotage impossible.

Create clear accountability. Eliminate dependencies. Focus on impact, not intent.

The goal isn't to change them.

It's to protect your work and your sanity.

When you do this right, one of two things happens:

Either they stop the behavior (because it's not working anymore).
Or the pattern becomes obvious enough that leadership finally sees it.

Either way, you win.

Thanks for reading. Be easy!
Girvin