Hey Fam,
Talking to a friend this week about leading change, the name Laxman Narasimhan came up.
His name was only familiar because when Laxman Narasimhan took over as CEO of Starbucks last year, how he approached his role caught my attention.
He didn’t start with big promises or feel-good initiatives - Smile, nod, and tell everyone they’re brilliant.
Nope.
Sometimes being nice is not being real. Authenticity requires courage, not just kindness.
Instead, he spent his first months:
Working 4 AM shifts at stores
Having tough conversations with baristas
Addressing union issues
Getting into the uncomfortable truths of store operations
Many expected the usual new CEO playbook of inspirational town halls, optimistic press releases, and vague promises of change.
However…
His approach wasn’t “nice”—it was emotionally intelligent and there’s a big difference.
Emotional intelligence is your ability to spot what people are feeling (including yourself), understand why, and use that understanding to guide what you say and do.
Here’s what I know about organizational behavior:
Many confuse emotional intelligence with emotional comfort.
The most emotionally intelligent leaders aren’t the ones who make everyone feel good—they’re the ones who create space for real emotions even the uncomfortable ones.
Gif by primevideo on Giphy
But here’s the reality most people miss:
Being emotionally intelligent often means making others temporarily uncomfortable for their long term growth.
So, I might just have something to help.
The TRUTH framework for real emotional intelligence:
T - Track emotional data
R - Respect reality
U - Understand impact
T - Take action
H - Hold space
Let’s get it:
Giphy
T - Track emotional data
Read emotional information accurately.
Watch how your team's energy and mood flow throughout the day - notice what lights them up and what drains them
Listen for the real message behind what people are saying (and not saying)
Pay attention to which team members influence others' moods, both up and down
Keep a simple note of patterns you spot - which situations consistently spark strong reactions
R - Respect reality
Face what is, not what you wish it was.
Be honest about what's working and what isn't - no sugarcoating, but no doom and gloom either
Look for patterns in recurring problems instead of just putting out fires
Make it safe for people to speak up about challenges they're facing
Face the uncomfortable truths early - they don't age well
U - Understand impact
See how emotions impact results.
Check in with your frontline folks to see how changes actually affect their daily work
Notice how team moods flow out to shape customer experiences
Watch how emotional ripples travel through your organization
Consider how today's emotional climate shapes tomorrow's culture
T - Take action
Respond to what’s needed not what’s comfortable.
Fix problems at their source instead of just treating symptoms
Make changes based on what your team needs, not what's comfortable
Follow through on your promises - small wins build lasting trust
Be willing to make tough calls when needed, but explain your thinking
H - Hold space
Let emotions be processed not rushed past.
Create regular chances for people to share what's on their minds without judgment
Give folks time to process changes - everyone moves at their own pace
Stay present and available as people work through tough transitions
Acknowledge emotions without trying to fix or rush past them
Using this framework isn't about becoming perfect at handling emotions - it's about building real trust instead of just keeping the peace.
When you pay attention to what's really going on and face it head-on, people start bringing you their problems early instead of hiding them until they explode.
Your decisions get better because they're based on reality, not wishful thinking.
The best part?
You'll spend less time putting out fires and more time actually leading.
Remember: Start small. One person, one day at a time. If you're feeling overwhelmed, you're trying too hard. Scale back and keep it simple.
DOWNLOAD AVAILABLE
Emotional Intelligence Checklist:
Here’s the TRUTH in Action
Looking at Narasimhan’s approach at Starbucks:
Track: Spent time in stores observing real employee experiences and emotions
Respect: Openly acknowledged store ops needed to be fixed
Understand: Recognized union tensions were impacting company culture
Take Action: Implemented operational changes based on frontline feedback
Hold Space: Created ongoing dialogue channels between HQ and stores
Result: Employee trust and operational improvement.
POLL
What’s your biggest challenge with emotional intelligence?
LEVEL UP
Your 7-day TRUTH challenge:
Day 1: Track emotional patterns in your team. Pay special attention to when people light up or shut down during conversations.
Day 2: Pick one problem everyone knows about but nobody talks about. Have one honest conversation about it with someone you trust.
Day 3: Look at how one person's mood affects those around them. Notice how that ripple spreads through your team and impacts the work getting done.
Day 4: Choose one issue you've been putting off and take one small step to address it. Remember, progress beats perfection.
Day 5: When someone shares something tough, just listen without trying to fix it. Give them the gift of your full attention and let them know their feelings matter.
Day 6: Go beyond just being nice - have an honest conversation with someone about a change that's bothering them. Share your own struggles too, if it feels right.
Day 7: Use everything you've learned to handle one challenging situation. Notice how different it feels to approach it with both honesty and heart.
A few suggestions to keep you on track:
Start small - tiny steps lead to big changes
If you miss a day, just pick up where you left off
Keep notes about what you learn - you'll spot patterns
Share what works with others who might be interested
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CURATED ROUNDUP
Essential Links
Book: "The Emotionally Intelligent Leader" by Daniel Goleman
Podcast: "Authenticity" - The Real Leadership Podcast
Article: "The Authenticity Paradox" - HBR
Video: "Leading with Emotional Courage" - Peter Bregman
Ready to sharpen your soft skills even more? Use Blinkist for quick, powerful insights from top non-fiction books and podcasts.
Remember: True emotional intelligence isn’t about making people feel good—it’s about creating space for real growth and real connection.
When you are emotionally intelligent you don’t just manage emotions—you transform relationships and organizations.
That’s real leadership.
That’s how you help make change last.
Thanks for reading. Be easy!
Girvin 🫡
P.S. If you ask people what soft skills are and which is most important, you may get different answers. Here’s my take.
P.P.S. Did you find the downloadable checklist helpful? Also, since people often forget key frameworks when they need them, would quick reference sheets be useful to you? Reply and share.
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