Until You Embrace This Simple Truth, You’ll Keep Being Misunderstood

Tell me if this sounds familiar:

You finish explaining something, and the other person nods politely. But you can tell they didn't really get it. Not the way you meant it. Not the part that matters.

And you're left wondering: Is it them? Or is it me?

I used to think this was an articulation problem. That I needed better words. Clearer sentences. More precise language.

But that's not what was happening.

What I eventually realized was this:

The gap wasn't in my words. It was in my assumptions.

I was starting from where I was, deep inside my own thinking, instead of starting from where they were. I was assuming shared context that didn't exist. I was leading with my conclusion instead of building to it.

My clarity was real. But it was internal clarity. And internal clarity doesn't automatically translate to external communication.

It’s tempting to treat this like a small communication problem.

It isn’t.

It’s a revenue problem. A leadership problem. An influence problem.

Because if you’re an expert or an entrepreneur, your value is not just what you know.

It’s whether other people can understand it, trust it, and act on it.

If your best thinking does not land, it does not convert. And here’s how it shows up in real life:

Confused people don’t buy or align. They delay, disengage, and follow the person who makes it feel obvious.

Which means your influence is capped by one skill: translation.

So here’s the real question:

What would change if your ideas landed the first time, with the people who matter most?

Here's what I've learned about translating internal clarity into external communication.

It's not about finding better words. It's about building the path from where they are to where you want them to be.

Let's get it...

This is the mistake I see most often.

We start where we are—the insight, the conclusion, the thing we want them to understand.

But they're not there yet. They're somewhere else entirely. And if you don't meet them there first, nothing you say after will land.

What fails: "Let me tell you what I've figured out."
What works: "Here's what I'm seeing in your situation..."

Start in their world, not yours. Then build the bridge.

New ideas don't land in a vacuum. They land by connecting to something familiar.

Think about the best explanations you've ever heard. They probably used analogy. They linked the new thing to something you already understood.

What fails: Explaining your concept in its own terms, assuming it will make sense on its own.
What works: Finding the analogy, the metaphor, the "this is like that" connection that gives them something to grab onto.

What does your idea remind you of? What's the familiar thing that makes the unfamiliar click?

Abstract explanations create abstract understanding, which is another way of saying no understanding at all.

The moment you make it concrete, something shifts.

Not "this approach improves outcomes." But "one client went from X to Y in three months by doing Z."

Not "this framework creates clarity." But "here's exactly what it looks like when someone uses it."

What fails: Staying at the conceptual level because that's where your thinking lives.
What works: Dropping into specific, concrete examples they can actually picture.

What's the example that would make your point undeniable?

Here's something that took me too long to learn:

You have seventeen reasons why your approach works. Twelve nuances that matter. Eight caveats that add precision.

They can hold one thing.

Maybe two. On a good day.

So what's the one point that matters most? What's the single sentence you want them to walk away with?

What fails: Trying to transfer everything you know because it all seems important.
What works: Choosing the one thing that would change their thinking—and letting everything else wait.

If they could only remember one sentence from this conversation, what should it be?

Communication isn't a monologue. It's a loop.

Not "does that make sense?"—that just gets you a polite nod.

But: "What's landing for you so far?" or "What questions does that raise?" or "How does that connect to what you're dealing with?"

What fails: Explaining and assuming understanding happened.
What works: Pausing to hear how they're receiving it—and adjusting in real time.

When's the last time you stopped mid-explanation to genuinely ask what was landing?

Here's the humbling part:

Communication is iterative. The first version of your explanation is never the final version. You learn what resonates and what doesn't. What creates clarity and what creates confusion.

Each conversation is data. Use it.

What fails: Assuming your explanation is fixed—and if they don't get it, that's on them.
What works: Treating every conversation as an opportunity to refine how you communicate.

How is your explanation different now than it was six months ago? If it's the same, you're not learning.

Internal clarity doesn't automatically translate to external communication.

When your ideas don't land, the problem usually isn't your thinking; it's the gap between where you are and where they are. You're starting too far ahead, skipping too much context, explaining in terms that make sense to you but not to them.

Begin where they are. Relate to what they know. Illustrate with examples. Distill to one point. Get their reaction. Evolve based on what you learn.

Your expertise is only as valuable as your ability to communicate it. Build the bridge.

Thanks for reading. Be easy!
Girvin