Trust Is a Design Choice (Not an Accident)

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Most people seem to think trust is something you earn over time.

They're only half right.

Yes, trust develops through consistent behavior—but waiting for it to emerge naturally? That's leaving it to chance.

Trust isn't just something you passively accumulate.

It's something you deliberately design.

And if you don't?

You leave your influence, your credibility, and your leadership potential up to chance.

But…

When I ask leaders what trust actually is, I get vague answers:

"I know it when I see it."
"It's about being reliable."
"Trust means people believe you."

But Charles Feltman defines it more precisely:

That clarity changes everything.

Because if trust is a choice about vulnerability, then building trust means designing experiences that make that choice feel safe.

Yet most people can't articulate how trust works, which levers to pull, or how to rebuild it once broken. Instead, they rely on gut feelings and hope for the best.

You might be more trustworthy than people realize.

But if they can't see it, they won't act on it.

Trust has to be experienced, not just assumed.

• If your team doesn't know what to expect from you

• If your clients don't feel safe telling you the truth

• If your ideas never create a sense of reliability

Then you're not untrustworthy…

You're unclear.

Trust Has a Framework (And You Can Master It)

Most people treat trust like the weather—something that happens to them rather than something they create.

But Charles Feltman's research gives us a clearer path:

Miss just one? The whole structure collapses.

Let’s get it…

1. Sincerity

Think of this like transparency:

• Say what you really think

• Speak with candor, not calculation

• Address the elephants in the room

• Surface concerns rather than hiding them

What breaks trust: "Let me tell you what you want to hear"
What builds it: "Here's my honest take, even though it's tough"

2. Reliability

Think of this like setting a watch:

• Make commitments carefully

• Deliver on timeline promises

• Communicate changes early

• Create consistent patterns

What breaks trust: "I'll try to get to that soon"
What builds it: "You'll have this Tuesday at 10am"

3. Competence

Think of this like proving your expertise:

• Know your actual capabilities

• Show relevant evidence

• Acknowledge your limits

• Demonstrate mastery in your domain

What breaks trust: "I can probably figure that out"
What builds it: "Here's my experience with exactly this"

4. Care

Think of this like perspective-taking:

• See beyond your agenda

• Show genuine curiosity

• Remember what matters to others

• Make their success your priority

What breaks trust: "This would be great for me"
What builds it: "Here's how this serves your goals"

Real Talk: Which Signal Are You Dropping?

Let's be honest with each other.

• You can have incredible competence—but if people question your motives, trust collapses.

• You can have pure intentions—but if you miss deadlines repeatedly, trust erodes.

• You can say all the right things—but if your actions don't follow, trust disappears.

Imagine a leader rebuilding trust with a skeptical team:

Instead of making grand promises:

• Sincerity: "I've missed some important feedback. I want to hear the real concerns."

• Reliability: "You'll get an update every Monday at 9am, without fail."

• Competence: "Here's our track record solving exactly this kind of challenge."

• Care: "Tell me what success looks like for you personally in this project."

Result: Team engagement rises as they see all four signals consistently demonstrated.

POLL

The Bottom Line: Trust By Design

When you deliberately design trust—instead of waiting for it to emerge—everything changes.

• Teams move faster because they spend less time in doubt

• Clients commit more readily because they feel secure

• Your influence extends beyond your presence because people act on your words

Start Here:

1. Choose one dimension of trust you want to strengthen

2. Make it visible through a specific, consistent action

3. Tell people what you're doing and why

4. Ask for feedback on how it's being experienced

Because trust isn't just a feeling that happens to you.

It's a strategic advantage you create.

And once you see it as a design choice? You'll stop leaving it to chance.

Thanks for reading. Be easy!
Girvin