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Ever given feedback that made someone look like they wanted to crawl under a rock?
You know the type.
Where your well-meaning comments turn your coworker's face red and suddenly the room feels super tense?
Yeah, not fun.
Or maybe you’ve been on the receiving end of a "criticism sandwich"?
You know how it goes—compliment, critique, compliment. It’s like saying, “You’re doing great!” while sneaking in a “but here's what you messed up.”
That’s the old playbook? Toss it. People aren’t idiots. They can smell that crap sandwich from a mile away.
We all can.
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The best way to show respect to someone is to be honest with them.
What people want need is honesty, clarity, and a little respect.
But giving feedback without making people want to punch you is a skill.
And in today's environment where we're always giving and getting feedback, it's a skill that can make or break your career.
Because good feedback helps people grow and come up with new ideas.
But do it badly, and you're the office bad guy faster than you can say "I'm just trying to help."
So, I might just have the solution.
Gif by curbyourenthusiasm on Giphy
I call it…
Your New Recipe for Feedback That Doesn't Make People Want to Punch You
aka The CRISP method:
C - Choose the right time and place
R - Results are what matter
I - Include the other person in the talk
S - Be specific and give clear next steps
P - Start with something positive
Let's get it:
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C - Choose the right time and place
Pick a good moment to talk
Think about how the other person might be feeling
"Do you have a few minutes to talk about the Johnson project?"
R - Results are what matter
Focus on what happened, not on the person
Explain how their actions affected things
"When the report was late, we had to delay our whole presentation to the client."
I - Include the other person in the talk
Make it a two-way conversation
Ask what they think
"What made this task challenging for you?"
S - Be specific and give clear next steps
Don't be vague
Give clear examples and ideas for future actions
"The first paragraph could be shorter. In the future, maybe we could cut it down to three main points?"
P - Start with something positive
Begin with praise
Frame criticism as a chance to grow
"I'm bringing this up because I know you can do great things and I want to see you succeed."
Now, I get it. This might seem like a lot to remember all at once.
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Start small. Focus on one part at a time.
Maybe today, you just work on choosing the right time to give feedback.
Tomorrow, practice being specific in your suggestions.
Small steps, big results. That's how it works.
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Let's see this in action:
Your team member just gave a presentation that was about as exciting as watching grass grow.
Here's how you CRISP up your feedback:
C - You wait until after the meeting and ask, "Got a few minutes to chat about the presentation?"
R - You say, "I noticed the client seemed bored during parts of the presentation. This could hurt our chances of getting the contract."
I - You ask, "What did you think about how it went? Was it hard to prepare?"
S - You suggest, "Going forward, adding more pictures, like charts or graphs, could help make the information easier to understand.
P - You wrap up with, "I'm giving this feedback because I've seen the great work you can do, and I want to help you really shine in these presentations."
You've just turned a potential confidence-killer into a chance to get better.
POLL
What's your experience with feedback in the workplace?
- A) I'm a pro at giving constructive feedback
- B) I can dish it out, but I struggle to take it
- C) I'm great at receiving feedback, but giving it makes me sweat
- D) Both giving and receiving feedback make me want to hide under my desk
- E) I've mastered the art of the "criticism sandwich" (compliment-critique-compliment)
LEVEL UP
Your 7-day CRISP feedback boot camp:
Day 1: C - Before giving any feedback today, stop and think about the timing. Is this a good moment?
Day 2: R - Practice talking about a problem in terms of what happened. How did the action affect things?
Day 3: I - In your next feedback talk, ask at least two questions before giving any advice.
Day 4: S - Take a vague piece of feedback and make it clear and actionable. Use it in a conversation today.
Day 5: P - Start three conversations today with real praise before talking about any problems.
Day 6: Combine C, R, and I in one feedback talk. Choose the right time, focus on results, and ask questions.
Day 7: Put it all together. Use the full CRISP method in a real feedback situation.
CURATED ROUNDUP
Essential Links
Book: "Radical Candor" by Kim Scott
Podcast: "WorkLife with Adam Grant" - episode on "How to Love Criticism"
Article: "The Feedback Fallacy" by Ashley Goodall
Video: "How to Give & Get Constructive Feedback" by Adam Grant and Andrew Huberman
Course: “CreativeLive” - How to Give Impactful Feedback by Cory Caprista
Ready to sharpen your soft skills even more? Tap into Blinkist for quick, powerful insights from top non-fiction books and podcasts.
Feedback isn't about tearing people down.
It's about building them up by showing them how to improve. It's not an attack.
Giving constructive feedback is a skill. And like any skill, it takes practice and planning. Make it an investment in someone's future.
Thanks for reading. Be easy!
Girvin 🫡
P.S. What's your best trick for giving feedback that actually helps? Hit reply and let me know.
P.S.S. If you ask people what soft skills are and which is most important, you may get different answers. Here’s my take.
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