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Don’t Forget the Foundation
What Sewage Systems Teach Us About Relationships, Trust, and Social Stability
Girvin
June 23, 2025
FIRST THINGS FIRST:
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Every thriving society has a few invisible systems holding it together.
We don’t think about them often.
We don’t celebrate them.
But without them, everything falls apart.
Take the sewage system.
It doesn’t sound inspiring, but it’s one of the most important inventions in human history.
Why?
Because it allows people to live together in cities, in communities, in dense proximity, without spreading mass disease.
It’s the unglamorous infrastructure that makes collective life possible.
What’s That Got to Do With Relationships?
More than you’d think.
Like societies, relationships—professional, personal, collaborative—are built on unseen foundations that make everything else function.
Things like:
Mutual respect
Psychological safety
Predictability
Reciprocity
Small moments of unspoken trust
You don’t notice these things when they’re working.
But when they start breaking down?
Everything gets harder.
It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you'll do things differently.
Conversations get more tense.
Assumptions get more hostile.
And the whole “system” of relating begins to rot.
Ok, that's a bit dramatic. But…
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Relationships Thrive on Maintenance, Not Just Meaning
We put a lot of energy into building connections, but not enough into maintaining the invisible agreements that keep them healthy.
Strong relationships don’t stay strong by default.
They stay strong because someone—you—does the quiet, daily work of:
Clarifying expectations
Honoring small commitments
Repairing missteps quickly
Being as consistent in private as you are in public
Saying thank you when you don’t have to
This is the social equivalent of infrastructure upkeep.
No glory.
All gain.
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Respect the Invisible and Keep Relationships Running Smoothly
We don’t wait for sewage systems to overflow before we maintain them.
We care for them because we understand the risks of neglect.
Relationships are the same.
So, try this simple framework to help maintain your personal and professional relationships before something breaks:
C — Check Your Impact
A — Acknowledge the Unspoken
R — Repair Quickly
E — Extend Respect Consistently
Let’s get it…
C — Check Your Impact
How might my behavior be affecting others—even if they haven’t said anything?
Am I unintentionally signaling disregard or disinterest?
Have I assumed forgiveness instead of asking for it?
A — Acknowledge the Unspoken
What emotional labor or effort am I benefiting from but not recognizing?
Say thank you.
Notice what usually goes unnoticed.
R — Repair Quickly
When something breaks—trust, expectations, tone—how quickly do I address it?
Don’t wait for permission to make it right.
Small repairs prevent long-term damage.
E — Extend Respect Consistently
Am I treating people with the same clarity and consideration I expect?
Even when you’re busy.
Even when no one’s watching.
Even when it feels like no big deal.
The best experts and leaders aren’t just great at building relationships. They’re intentional about preserving them.
Because in a world that often overlooks what’s working, some of the most influential people are the ones who protect what most people forget.
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LEVEL UP
The Self-Assessment Prompt
Help me identify the invisible systems and habits that shape the quality of my professional relationships.
- What unspoken agreements do I benefit from but rarely acknowledge?
- Where might I be eroding trust through small patterns I’ve normalized?
- How often do I maintain vs. assume my relationships are “fine”?
- What’s one overlooked behavior I could restore this week to reinforce connection?
Suggest a weekly habit that keeps the foundation of my relationships strong and clear.POLL
Which invisible foundation do you most often forget to maintain?(Choose one—or more—you want to strengthen this month.) |
CURATED ROUNDUP
What to Review This Week
Watch: How to Build Trust at Work: 4 Essentials for Better Teams by Charles Feltman
Watch: The power of vulnerability by Brené Brown
Get an earful of soft skills development when on the go with Blinkist.
In Case You Missed It!
You can showcase your wins without bragging.
Learn the formula for doing deep work in a world of distraction.
We all deserve tools to help us work with focus, calm, and harmony.
The Bottom Line
It’s easy to overvalue performance and undervalue maintenance.
But the truth is, the highest-functioning teams, partnerships, and communities are built on foundations we rarely see but deeply rely on.
Like sewage systems, they don’t get applause.
But they keep everything else clean, livable, and working.
You don’t need to overthink it.
Just don’t overlook it.
Respect the invisible.
Maintain what supports you.
And never forget: it’s the unglamorous systems that make lasting relationships—and societies—possible.
Thanks for reading. Be easy!
Girvin
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