I Stopped Asking "What Do You Do?"

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Here's a networking hack that'll make you instantly more memorable:

Stop asking the question everyone else asks.

I used to be that guy. You know the one.

Walk into any networking event or situation, and I'd immediately default to: "So... what do you do?"

Safe.
Predictable.
And Boring as hell.

Then I'd get their rehearsed 20-second elevator pitch, and we'd both walk away forgetting each other's names within 5 minutes.

Last month in Cleveland, Ohio, I was grabbing a quick lunch at a science conference. It was in a large section of tables in the event hall, full of folks eating; some talking to each other, some eating in silence, looking almost shy to talk.

I sat down in an open spot.

The person next to me looked familiar, and it turned out to be the researcher I wanted to hear from later.

I almost opened with my usual question.

Then I tried something different:

"What's been the highlight of your work lately?"

What happened next was fantastic.

Instead of a polite job title, I got a passionate 3-minute story about a breakthrough they'd just had. Their whole energy changed. They were animated, excited, specific.

By the time I actually started eating, we were deep in conversation about challenges we'd both faced.

That single word - "highlight" - changed everything.

The Question That Actually Works

"What's been the highlight of your work lately?"

Here's why I think this works:

It's positive - People light up when sharing wins 
It's personal - Highlights are unique to each person
It's specific - You get stories, not scripts 
It's current - You hear what's top-of-mind right now

When someone shares a highlight, they're not giving you information. They're sharing what matters to them.

Opening the door for real connections to happen.

My Go-To Conversation Starters

I’m now keeping a mental rotation of these:

• "What's been the highlight of your work lately?"

• "What's been lighting you up at work recently?"

• "What project are you most excited about right now?"

• "What's been the most rewarding part of your work this month?"

• "What's something you're proud of from this quarter?"

Different words. Same effect.

They pull you straight into the good stuff.

Your Reality Check

Which of these sounds like you?

• You ask the same questions everyone else asks

• You get polite but forgettable responses

• You exchange business cards but never follow up

• You have surface-level conversations that go nowhere

• You leave events feeling like you "networked" but didn't actually connect with anyone

If you nodded to any of these, you're optimizing for the wrong thing.

POLL

In Case You Missed It!

• The Power Questions Cheatsheet

The Bottom Line

The best networkers aren't the ones who talk about themselves the most.

They're the ones who get others excited to talk about what matters to them.

People don't remember what you said about your work. They remember how you made them feel about theirs.

While everyone else is collecting business cards and making small talk, you'll be creating actual connections.

While everyone is asking "What do you do?" - be the person asking "What's lighting you up right now?"

The conversation that follows will be worth remembering.

Thanks for reading. Be easy!
Girvin

P.S. What's been the highlight of your work lately? Hit reply and tell me - I actually read every response.